Big Five Oh

Hi turtle-lings, I’m waiting for the dancing topless Amazonian women to drop from the ceiling Matrix style on my 50th birthday. No worries, my jaw will still drop, and I’ll still be surprised, in fact very surprised. The medics can piss off, my heart can take the excitement.

50 years ago, I was a mistake. A great mistake that my mum loved dearly. A visiting pilot from England decided to go out on the town (big happening place, Auckland), met up with my innocent gorgeous mum and did the deed. This would have had to have been around mid October, 1961.

According to Google at that time, ten NZ National MPs voted with the Opposition to remove capital punishment for murder from the Crimes Bill that the National Government had introduced (big, big news). I guess that would have initiated a flurry of amorous boys and gals to go out on the turps that week to celebrate. Wow! Beers sales would have sky rocketed.

I’ve watched enough Discovery channels to know that I won the race to the egg! I beat all the other losers to get my mums egg fertilised, what a winner! Oh yeah, high fives!! I thank the lucky stars for that powerful tail flick.

I don’t know terribly much about my dad, but he did fly Winston Churchill a lot in what I think was a Douglas plane with lots of fighter planes protecting him. Cool! Real cool.

50 years on, I’ve dyed my hair blonde once and that hurt so bad, I’ve had an ear ring, not the gay ear, I’ve had my chest waxed, never again.

I’ve experienced a lot in 50 years and I could not even imagine to highlight any one thing that I would like to say was the big bang. But here am with 4 lovely children, unfortunately I have cancer but what the heck, true love can never be shattered by any dark moments.

Brad was the first to extend me good wishes just now for the 50 years, he only just walked in the door.

Nighty night all.

5 comments

  1. Hey David, Happy 50th… oh and if no-one else had done it, welcome to the seniors club, where everything you do is attributed to your age. Do wrong, you’re old and should be forgiven… do right, you’re wise, experienced and should be obeyed… win, win, situation if you ask me!! Lots of love, Tara and Kimi…

  2. Happy birthday old man! Hope you have the best day ever (minus your daughter missing her flight). Take care. 🙂

  3. Happy 50th Birthday Brother!! Remember you are as old as your mind tells you.. Best wishes from the Potaha Clan..

    • HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY DAVID!!ENJOY & PARTY HARD…BEST WISHES FROM FRANK,TALA,KENRIDGE & LIHIA..

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