Mental as …

Well folks, here’s the image of a potential cocktail of death lollies which in a momentary lapse of judgement or sanity could be extremely dangerous.

‘Stilnox’ was suspected as the possible cause of death for our infamous thespian joker, Heath Ledger. I liked Heath a lot, such a sudden and early loss to the Australian Acting Industry and to his family.

Oh, and guess what? I have a packet of these candies in my medicine cabinet. I can take these at my leisure to assist with my troubling insomnia. Meanwhile, I tether and try to cope with my depression, I have to muster the strength not to self diagnose with too much Stilnox, which can be tempting during my dark moments.

Go figure? I take Zoloft for the depression, and if that doesn’t work, I can chew my troubles away with Stilnox. I have decided to stop taking Stilnox as I completely lost one day this week. Ziltch, zero, nothing … I have no memory nor recollection from Tuesday noon till Wednesday night.

Funny thing is that I experienced what they refer to as a side effect to the drug … ‘sleep walking’ … and of all places I gravitated to the local train station, watched trains, and somehow ended back home after 10pm on Tuesday. Brad offered me this insight the next day because he said I explained how I went bush walking and eventually sat down to keep watch on the timetable. I can’t remember a damn thing, except the trains, and I thought it was a dream. Everything else is a total blank. I actually woke up in a daze on Wednesday, believing it was still Tuesday. Gotta laugh, … yup, gotta laugh, now.

Not sure how I navigated my way across 6 lanes of road to get where I was heading to, and back safely? Perhaps there was a carnage, flaming cars, and wreckage left in my wake, … I just don’t know.

Last night, I set the iPad on YouTube and searched for a variety of ‘Meditation for Insomnia’ results. I played 3 different meditations, each one giving me about an hour of sleep in between each one. I’m sure I’ll find one that will set me to a deeper more lengthy slumber … one night … one night soon.

On a final note, anyone seen the movie, Silver Lining Playbook? I totally relate to it, it was well directed and absolutely brilliant. The girl was in ‘Hunger Games’ and I’m sure everyone knows Bradley Cooper.

Love Hurts. Click here to watch the trailer!

Apocalypto

Why is it called quicksand, when it fact, there’s nothing quick about it at all? This lead me to el pronto google the topic and discovered a number of things that just blew my mind.

OK, straying right now and I know I’ve blown a few candles in my time, but I’ve never successfully projected a breathe of air towards anyone’s mind. So I’m still waiting for my mind to be blown and I’ll also be happy to reciprocate the ‘mind blowing’ experience.

A Tsunami hit the poor Solomon Islands this week, blew a lot of things away.

Back to the quicksand. Here’s a couple of misconceptions about the wet sand. The more you struggle the faster you sink. If you just relax, your body will float in it because your body is less dense than the quicksand.

Quicksand is not quite the fearsome force of nature that you sometimes see on the big screen. In fact, the treacherous grit is rarely deeper than a few feet. If you step into quicksand, it won’t suck you down. However, your movements will cause you to dig yourself deeper into it.

My brief fascination about this was stirred when I was watching the movie ‘Apolcalypto’, seen it about 3 times, really enjoy it. Those of you who learnt to speak ‘Yucateco’ at school (a form of Mayan dialect) can switch the subtitles off because it can be a little annoying.

Fare well and, Jach Dyos bo’otik.

Nice Jim Jams

If I were a car, even I wouldn’t buy me.

There just seems to be too many missing or broken parts, lets see, no appendix, no gall bladder, broken shoulder, no prostate, barely remembers things, and the blood is tainted with cancer. Did you say, you’ll pay me to remove this body off the block?

I came home last Wednesday (ANZAC day), spent a couple of hours at work, and a couple more on Thursday and Friday. Next thing I know, those who love me gave me a good old fashioned ear bashing. Nothing like being pushed further below the water line when you’re trying to get on top of things.

I counted 5 (female) nurses who adored my pyjama pants when I was at hospital, I’m now contemplating wearing them out to the shops. For some reason they recognised some dude whose name appeared on my jammy’s called Peter Alexander, just hope he’s not some gay icon. Everyone knows I’m not gay, right? Nothing against gay people, but I can do without the unwanted attention particularly as I’m a bit of a pretty boy and muscular!

Here’s a pic of me suffering in front of the television screen.

I’m of higher and better spirits in the last couple of days because I’ve self diagnosed a double dose of sleeping tabs. I’m sleeping almost as soon as I hit the pillow and then struggle to get out of bed by 8:30am. Problem however is that I’m still drowsy during the remainder of the day.

If there are any credible persons reading this with a Medical background can you leave a comment below please. I’ve changed to 2 x 5mg Diazepam? If this dosage is not causing the tiredness then I may need to worry once again. Crap!

Handle me with Care and Caution

Just a couple of tips on how to interact with someone like me. I do feel obliged to spell this out so people can stop freaking me out. I’m not trying to be cavalier about this, nor do I wish to offend, but I am working on an alternative secret Colonel Sanders recipe to get myself out of this bind. Unfortunately, this plan is very fragile and can all come to nought at the slightest suggestion of failure or negativity, even when naively offered.

1. I have cancer, not the common cold. Please stop telling me it’s going to be alright unless you know the definitive cure for Cancer. The doctors tell me that the disease reacts differently for everyone. I could be a nifty bag of garden fertiliser within 12 months, or I could be writing a book about how I beat this, fathered 10 more children, won the lottery and how I now appreciate cigars and pedicures.

2. True, I won’t have further use for my wardrobe and that this space will be available sometime in the future, but you will have to search and bid for this piece of real estate on eBay like everyone else.

3. Be prepared for a paternity test, if you’re hoping to turn up for a cut of the Insurance handout. You should know that Brad is not the sharing kind and is currently learning Brazilian Ju Jitsu, and I think he knows how to dish out guillotine choker holds now.

4. Any funeral directors touting for business will need to have a qualified dog handler with them. My dog ‘Dawgie’ has a bite worse than his bark. I am however interested in genuine, no corners cut, Viking Burning Ship Burials’ at Sea, quotes.

5. I AM trying to be positive, and it’s bloody hard when everyone keeps reminding me to remain positive. What I really need is an introductory course in Shaolin Monkism Meditation 101 (in 5 easy steps). If anyone knows where I can pick up the tapes for this, please let me know. I can pick up or arrange delivery at my expense. If it’s a book, make sure it has lots of pictures, preferably cartoons … my attention span is almost non-existent and I’m easily entertained. If the CD has music, ideally monkeys should be able to dance to it.

6. If you really want to cheer me up, I enjoy Chicken Laksa, Mud Crab, Crayfish, Pineapple Lumps, Tamarillos and Coffee from Bonjour Patisserie (Wahroonga).

7. If you think you’re beautiful then a hug would be warmly and immensely appreciated. Groping encouraged but not advised.

Talk to you all again, laters alligators!

Monday, April 16th

Thank you ‘Stilnox’. I actually experienced what most of you take for granted, a sound sleep till around 6am this morning. I have also discovered that this has to be the prescription that’s giving me mild headaches in the morning.

Can’t win them all, ‘sleep’ or ‘headache’?, ‘good’ or ‘bad’?, ‘party all night’ or ‘hangover’? Why does yin have to accompany yang like an uninvited guest? Incidentally, did you know yin is cold, dark, passive, wet and feminine, and that yang is bright, active, dry, hot and masculine?

I know a couple of people who are best described as yin, … I’m definitely yang, a yang who loves the rain!

I can also confirm “Stilnox’ hasn’t caused me to sleep walk and go into a murderous rampage, but the side effects on my memory is shocking. I wouldn’t feel so slack about it, if it weren’t for the people around me reminding me that I had forgotten something, or I sit there struggling with names or events.

A classic example was at French lessons, when the teacher held up a poster with well known faces and we had to introduce them in French. I got away by introducing Julia Gillard as the ‘woman in red’, and Barrack Obama as the ‘black president’. I’m hoping this is all temporary or just one unpleasant dream that I’m about to wake up from.

Which sadly, I’ve made so many friends in this dream I’m going to miss them all.