Daves’ Daring Diet (3D) for Cancer

20131030-195151.jpgLet’s get the formalities out of the way first, …

The information contained on this page is for information purposes only, and may not apply to your situation. I provide no warranty about the content nor make any claims that it will cure anything. Information provided is subjective. If you suffer diarrhoea then drink lots of fluids, use soft rectum wipes, or water soaked anal tissues. If you break out in a rash, then scratch like crazy.

Awesome, that felt so official and important like, I deserve a pay rise! I hope no one takes offence at what I’m writing, I sort of think the closest comparison I can make to this, is like when comedians make inappropriate jokes about their ethnic kinship and get away with it … except … I guess, I’m not a comedian, and I’m definitely not making jokes about cancer.

Let me see, I remember eating mostly fruit, fish, vegetables, nuts and rice. Rarely, did my oesophagus get to slither anything carved off an animal. In fact, I unknowingly became a vegetarian. Eating fruit, fish and rice didn’t make me an Asian, but I sure adapted to this new tasty culinary choice easily. A single handful of mix of nuts was always included in my daily quota.

I did have some fruits I preferred, and these I did NOT eat in moderation at all. In fact, I gorged these at every opportunity, to the extent that my visits to the supermarket comprised of regularly checking the prices and buying these in bulk when they were cheap.

These were primarily blueberries, blackberries and pomegranate fruits. Pomegranate are such hard work, and there are easier ways to acquire the red juicy treasure nodules from within the tough membrane. You can YouTube it, … and while you’re there, Google the health benefits of Pomegranite, you’ll be surprised with the wealth of information on these expensive buggers (if you have to google the word ‘bugger’, please be assured I am not referring to ‘sodomite’, which is not edible like ‘vegemite’ and ‘marmite’) . I did have a lot of other fruits, I ate Kiwifruit with the skin left on. Don’t worry, your back end passage is unaffected by the furry skin, I believe the gurgling acids in your tummy make it all mushy and a lot more mobile.

I ate all types of fruit, and made every attempt to ensure a rainbow of colours on the palatte would tantalise my palate. Yellow peaches, red watermelon, green apples, red apples, yellow corn, orange oranges, red carrots, purple beetroots (convenient in a can) and plenty, plenty and plenty of blueberries, blackberries and pomegranate. Word of warning with the excess consumption of beetroot, is that your front and rear discharges will be a tad reddish.

In relation to my liquid intake, this was either normal or bottled mineral water, and tons of pomegranate juice. The latter should taste slightly tart which is its natural flavour. Don’t succumb to the blends, like 5% pomegranate and the rest made up of apple juice, read the labels. Make sure there are no additives, not sweetened and contains no preservatives, it must be in its original raw virgin squeezed state. If bottled Pomegranate juice is hard to come by, throw about 12 of these into a flax woven basket, add a python snake, … Secure the lid, and I couldn’t emphasize this advice enough but make sure the lid is definitely secure. Watch all the pomegranate juice pour out the bottom and sides of the basket!

Cripes, must go and pick up the kids for school … part 2 tomorrow.

Last weeks Oncologist Appointment

Cancer DoctorTo the unlearned an Oncologist is concerned with the diagnosis of Cancer, offering therapy, follow-up, writing an invoice with lots of digits to cover his mortgage repayments, and synchronising his, ‘aha’ with his, ‘I see’s. Peering over his glasses, and holding a fancy pen with his initials engraved on it.

I was really chuffed with my appointment last Friday morning, because Doctor Henry Woo used the word, ‘mysterious’ in our conversation. My latest PSA reading was only 0.03 and it didn’t appear to be the effects of the radiotherapy that caused the cancer cells to dissipate, … because the ‘internal sunbathing, no wait, internal sun burning ‘ was done about 3 years ago.

The word ‘mysterious’ may as well have been the word, ‘miracle’. I think Dr Woo was keeping religion out and science in, in his assessment. In fact, I reckon over a few Cognacs and a Cigar, playing Poker along with his medical associate mates, … I bet my name comes up and the conversation goes like this …

” … chaps, if I may interrupt our game for one brief moment, I have this good looking patient whose cancer has ‘mysteriously’ disappeared without any explainable medical reason. Shall I report it to the Medical Journal of Australia? If we all work on this one, I get first dips at the speech ceremony thingy …”

All the while, I’m sure Dr Woo also has the Nobel Prize in his sights.

My next blog post is going to cover the crazy diet I was on. I actually don’t have a name for it, like the Atkins Diet, or the Crazy Lemon Diet, Jenny Craig or whatever, … but once I find a PayPal image button, I’ll make it easy for you to send me donations.

David 2 vs Cancer 0

20131018-214339.jpgIn broad terms and given the opportunity to quote a cliché at this point, I will, …

… “eliminate the negative, accentuate the positive” …

Yeah, everything sounds easy after you win the fight, and I even think it comes across cocky having to expound a few words of wisdom, as if I knew all along I was going to be alive today. Truth be known, I cried, I suffered depression, I drank like a fish to escape reality, couldn’t sleep, marriage breakdown … wow, all sounds like I’m a candidate for a 10 minute segment on ’60 minutes’. Mr. 60 Minute producer, leave a message and we’ll negotiate my appearance fee and I’ll confirm my availability.

One ‘negative’ aspect in my life I had to eliminate, that now sounds obvious but it didn’t at the time, was that it was necessary to distance myself from negative people. I had to be ruthless and draw an uncompromising line containing the names of friends, colleagues, associates, family, wannabe’s, noobs and aliens.

The biggest mistake I made on reflection was that I allowed my emotions to influence that decision, … to the extent that I trusted one individual who habitually and frequently announced to almost everyone we met that I was going to die anyway. I was made to believe that death was inevitable and that I should not cause myself such anguish by thinking that I could be cured.

Anyway, long story made short, define who the positive influences in your life are because you will want to talk non-stop sometimes. You will want to rant, you will want to vent your anger … and only a good friend with invisible ear muffs and caring facial twitches will suck out those attacks, and not think of you as a looney tune, and that same true friend would shake that session off and encourage the next round. I call them, my best friends …. every single one of them.

David 1 vs Cancer 0

20131018-210823.jpgI have been asked by a number of people as to what I did during the course of this cancer curse to align my health back to what I now consider to be normal.

To some degree I have been reluctant to comment till now because the path I pursued was done so blindly, and I have been mindful that I could be placing a target on my back encouraging ‘haters’ to criticise what could be construed as false hope for others.

Having thought about it some more, I think ‘hope’ is ‘hope’ is ‘hope’. And, what the hell is false hope? I’m not selling snake oil, in fact I’m going to tell you what I did during this spell of misfortune so that if someone else benefits from this recipe of life, then we stand to make a zillion dollars.